Enda, Angela and the etiquette of

A kiss may be just a kiss. And when Enda met Angela in Berlin, the Taoiseach and the Chancellor seemed only too happy to exchange a warm, continental-style greeting.

There was a big smile and a peck on each cheek for Ms Merkel from a gallant Enda on the red carpet in Berlin last Wednesday.

But while this kind of cheek-kissing would be expected from French, Spanish or Italian leaders (and one would certainly expect it from ex-Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi ) it was something of a new departure to see an Irish politician indulging in a bit of "so lovely to see you, dahling, mwah-mwah!".

Even Charles Haughey, in his Charvet shirt-wearing, Francophile pomp, might have thought twice about planting one on the most formidable woman in world politics.

US President Barack Obama has always displayed a sure touch in judging the amount of affection to display in public. But he turned heads Down Under last week when he exchanged a kiss with Australian PM Julia Gillard when they met at the airport in Canberra at the start of an official visit.

Commentators asked if it was "appropriate" for one head of state to kiss another and some lamented the drift from the more formal protocol of the past.

A spokesperson for the Department of the Taoiseach yesterday indicated that Mr Kenny would not have consulted his protocol adviser on the greeting (both the Taoiseach's own office and the Department of Foreign Affairs have officials who look after this sort of thing).

It was to Enda's credit that he managed to pull his double-peck off with a certain élan and avoid the kind of awkwardness you might expect from a 60-year-old, fairly old-school guy from the west of Ireland.

"It's not really the done thing for Irish men, especially middle-aged Irish men," says John Kelly , etiquette expert and owner of The Finishing Academy of Ireland.

"The kiss on the cheek as a greeting is much more a French or southern Europe custom. And they only really kiss when somebody is a friend or relation. When they are acquaintances or when it is a more formal or business setting, it is more common to see a handshake.

"It's not in the Irish culture to do air-kissing, we are much more of a hand-shake culture. But it is creeping into Irish life and more and more Irishmen are having to get to grips with it".

Mr Kelly, who deals with the complicated issues of etiquette and modern manners at The Finishing Academy in Naas, Co Kildare, says that many Irish men, especially those who may not have grown up with the more continental style of greeting, are a bit confused and sometimes daunted by the custom.

"It's not something that comes naturally to a lot of Irish men. And in our culture, you can run into misunderstandings or crossed boundaries if you are going to be kissing another man's wife," he says.

"It's important to remember that there are rules. For instance, if you are going to dinner in another man's house and you are meeting his wife for the first time, then I would shake her hand. However, if you are friends with both of them, you shake his hand and kiss her on the cheek."

Dublin-based business etiquette expert Pamela Fay regularly surveys Irish businessmen and women on inter-personal relationships. Ms Fay believes that good manners (and proper etiquette) are now more important than ever, with almost one in two respondents to her most recent survey complaining that the incidence of rudeness in Irish business life has increased during the recession.

"It is so important to have good manners in business now, your success can really depend on it," says Ms Fay, who works with Dublin company Business Performance Perspectives.

"When it comes to a kiss as a greeting, I would say that in business, it's best to stick to the handshake."

As the etiquette experts point out, modern manners appear to be no less complex today as the were back when Jane Austen could write entire novels about the social interaction between the sexes.

Some Irish men, confused as to what exactly is expected of them and anxious not to offend, may act inappropriately out of nerves or inexperience when all they really need to do is read some basic body language and err on the side of caution.

In social settings, a kiss on the cheek may be quite continental -- but handshakes are a guy's best friend.

© Irish Independent

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